Degsy’s Midnight Runners

Preben Elkjaer – The self appointed editor of DMR once terrorised the defences of Serie A but now finds himself terrorising motorists at traffic lights by springing out from bushes and parked cars to wash their windscreens and make ends meet.

Fortunately for him this recently led to his arrest and his parole officer pointed him in the direction of developing a football fanzine, this one to be precise. Go figure.

Cardinal Ronald Buster Edwards P.C.A.H.R. (1932-1994) - Closet North End supporter and failed Great Train Robbery gang member, Rob Edwards/Ronaldo love child, flower seller (waterloo sunset), Gold medal winning trick cyclist and Phil Collins lookalike.

Interests include womens beach volleyball voyeurism, penmanship, underwater hockey and pill bug racing.

Now sadly writing from the other side. (Not bombsite road).

Bert Nash –  A member of the notorious Longridge Lunatic Fringe, self proclaimed legend and serious collector of all things pornographic. A role model for children from Monday to Friday….a sexual predator at the weekend/half-term/bank holiday/easter/christmas.

Bert is making his fanzine writing debut with DMR after previously writing articles for Insomniacs Weekly, Peephole Illustrated and The Voyeur Times.

Andy Lewis – self proclaimed music and British comedy guru. I hate Bon Jovi. I love the La’s. I hate “Lost”. I love “Saxondale”. You get the picture.

I felt compelled/forced to write for DMR, after stumbling across the editor whilst “bashing” some “beats” in The Ribble Piltot (Preston Docklands). Well, it was more the other way round. He was wearing a North End broach (circa 1978 – £15 in value approx) and requested “I Saw The Sign” by Ace Of Bass. Quite apt really. The next thing I know, I am being badgered to adhere to strict Himler-esque deadlines without even realising it. The joys of “vounteer work”…!

I hope my column can do the fanzine justice in the future, and hope the people that bought the first edition, will continue to stay loyal. I have a few Paul Daniels-esque tricks up my sleeve. Just you wait…

William (Bill) Routledge - Hello boys. I’m just glad the main man let me have my say and put WFG across in DMR and did not dismiss the book and it’s ramblings, like………………..? At the mo I can’t let you into that one! I will do has soon as I can.

Anyway my-own-good-self and VOR off Lancashire Lads will be doing a piece about footy-clobber shops over the years, in & around Preston Town hopefully in  Issue 2. Also if you’d like to ask us any ‘Questions’ or want us to cover certain subjects, email the site and you never know! I would also like to keep the PNE faithful up-to-date with Project Free Kick, a project that maybe linking up with the club. Sorry it’s short and sweet, only I’m still useless on the old keyboard, cha! Long live the freedom of speech and Keep the Faith.

Blacky – 18-30, single, 33 stone, shaven head, white, beer bellied, proud, tattooed, Preston supporting, dogging conniseur , IRN BRU swigging, Bacon eating, coup de etat loving, Rule Britannia singing, Englishman.

PNE Vital - A compulsive gossip and trained gynecologist it seemed his vocation in life was to be spreading old wives tales. Editor of a PNE fansite and also big in the modeling world, infact his matchstick representation of Chorley Bus Station made it onto the front cover of ‘Airfix Weekly’.

Writing for DMR on the premise that it will be ‘Proper Well Good’ ‘Dope’ and ‘Brap’. Loves to make audacious claims about conquests with women, backed up only with an offer to ‘smell his fingers’.

Obsessed with the social scene of the homeless, if strippers refer to their wound as their ‘privates’ and the size of Paul Sparrow’s Adam’s apple his inner turmoil about life’s big questions is often reflected in his writing.

Clark ‘Bing’ Crosby - 24, overweight, underpaid and general Chorley scum.

 
Writing for DMR as the amount of time I have on my hands is akin to what Billy Davies had before he became Nottingham Forest gaffer.

I try to be ‘cutting edge’ with my writing but more often than not, I tend to waffle – that’s the thing being a North End fan. You bore the arse of people.

Anyway, that’s me. For now…

This section will gradually fill up further as and when other members of the team can be arsed to do a short bio on themselves…